Broken

“I wasn’t expecting you.” She didn’t look up from the bedspread, smoothing it out where she was just sitting.

“Nothing was getting done,” he said. “I figured I’d call it a day.”

“Hmm,” she said, stopping to give him a quick peck. “Well, I wasn’t expecting you.”

“If you have plans -” The words dropped, stones in a bottomless well.

“No,” she said. “Not really. I was just surprised, that’s all.”

“I should’ve called,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she said. “I just wasn’t ready.”

“Ready?” he said.

“I don’t think this is working,” she said, holding his eyes. Space recoiled from him like flesh from a cut.

His mouth was dry. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I think we should stop seeing each other,” she said. “I just … I don’t feel what you feel. I’m sorry. I know you want me to, but I don’t.”

“So I like you too much?”

She shook her head. His hurt echoed back at him in her eyes and the set of her mouth. She scooped spiders in newspaper and set them in the yard. He didn’t care.

“You like me how you like me,” she said. “It’s just not how I like you. I’m sorry.”

He took a deep breath. His mouth was so dry. His laptop bag cut into his shoulder. He shifted it a little.

“I don’t get it. I don’t get you. We’re having a great time. I’m nuts about you. What did I do wrong?”

She reached for his arm, then caught herself. “You want so much. And I want you to have it, because I like you and I care about you. But I can’t give it to you. I can’t make you whole.”

“I don’t know what that means,” he said. He could hear the edge in his voice and it embarrassed him.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m really sorry.”

“I think I should go,” he said, already walking away. “This doesn’t make sense.”

The car started. He turned on the a/c. He heard the traffic report but none of the streets were close. He stared at the seat belt light. There was air all around him, but none of it touched him. He felt as if he were shrinking in on himself and sinking into the chair. The sun was too bright.

He backed out suddenly without looking. He felt a jolt and heard a crash, but it was all far away. He got out to look. The other car was dented, too. His taillight was in shards. His car looked like a child’s toy now, not a serious piece of machinery. His face felt hot and he wanted to scream.

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